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status & mood
Dane Cook's Profile
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Dane Cook
Back in Los Angeles. Watched Star Trek during wild turbulence. It was like we were being attacked by Romulan miners 4 watching the movie.
Posted at 11:05 AM Nov 22 from
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Mood:
(none)
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*Jennie*
Posted 5 hours ago
:-)
Kayli
Posted 5 hours ago
That is EXACTLY what was happening.
38 comments total
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Dane Cook
Massive show in Calgary 2night. Over 15 thousand fans headed 2 the big show. It's going to be a hellofaride.
Posted at 10:48 PM Nov 21
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Trish
Posted at 11:55 PM Nov 23
cant wait for dec 31st!!
little lilly
Posted at 11:46 PM Nov 23
no fucking way
343 comments total
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Dane Cook
Calgary I'm a resident tonight / tomorrow.
Posted at 7:30 AM Nov 21
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Ann
Posted at 7:50 AM Nov 24
M*Y*L*F* you might need to pull up an online dictionary. Funniest is a word. I suppose that you have called up ABC and ripped them one about America's Funniest Videos and told them it was wrong too? How about we focus in comments about Dane...and stop trying to give everyone a grammar lesson. Love ya Dane...you still rock!
nichole
Posted at 11:14 PM Nov 21
296 comments total
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Dane Cook
Calgary. 40 min. I'm coming. Don't let me find you sleeping.
Posted at 5:48 AM Nov 21 from
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Dane Cook
Heard about the car accident in Saskatoon. I'm holding the show 4 little bit 2 let every1 get in here. Pass it on.
Posted at 2:11 AM Nov 21 from
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Dane Cook
ISolated INcident the DVD is getting incredible reviews from fans all over. THANK YOU everyone. Laugh on!...
http://bit.ly/5hd4dt
Posted at 10:15 PM Nov 20 from
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Dane Cook
I just woke up in Saskatoon. Sorry but I had to write that somewhere & actually read it. Hi.
Posted at 6:16 PM Nov 20 from
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Dane Cook
Winnipeg show was insane! Thanks every1. 1 of the best shows this tour. 15 thousand strong. Headed to Saskatoon in an hour.
Posted at 4:21 AM Nov 20 from
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Dane Cook
I'm backstage in Regina, Canada right now. Soundcheck complete! Winnipeg later tonight for a couple of days. direct2dane@danecook.com
Posted at 12:26 AM Nov 19 from
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Jeremy
Posted at 5:21 AM Nov 21
Just bought isolated incedent, Funny shit man. Can't believe the douchebag anonimous@yahoo what a dick!!
Brenton
Posted at 5:08 AM Nov 21
good luck and have fun
460 comments total
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Dane Cook
YES I DO! hey u're 2000 comedy central presents just came on and I was just
wondering.do
u still wish u were a snake? (via @JuvisaurusREX)
Posted at 2:05 AM Nov 18 from
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Sheila
Posted at 6:44 PM Nov 21
dont read this. you will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by the love of your life. tomorrow will be the best day of your life. however if you dont post this comment to at least 3 peoples you will die within 2 days. now uv started readin dis dunt stop this is so scary. send this over to 5 people in 143 minutes when ur done press f6 and ur crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. this is so scary because it actually work
Jake
Posted at 4:18 AM Nov 20
dont read this. you will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by the love of your life. tomorrow will be the best day of your life. however if you dont post this comment to at least 3 peoples you will die within 2 days. now uv started readin dis dunt stop this is so scary. send this over to 5 people in 143 minutes when ur done press f6 and ur crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. this is so scary because it actually work
419 comments total
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Dane Cook
NICE! Its so sweet we even skinned our Homepage! ISolated INcident the DVD is out (via @ComedyCentral)
Posted at 2:04 AM Nov 18 from
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X ♠The 6 Foot 7 Rated R StraightEdge Superstar♠ X
Posted at 10:49 PM Nov 18
dont read this. you will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by the love of your life. tomorrow will be the best day of your life. however if you dont post this comment to at least 3 peoples you will die within 2 days. now uv started readin dis dunt stop this is so scary. send this over to 5 people in 143 minutes when ur done press f6 and ur crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. this is so scary because it actually work
Bobinoski
Posted at 9:53 PM Nov 18
dont read this. you will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by the love of your life. tomorrow will be the best day of your life. however if you dont post this comment to at least 3 peoples you will die within 2 days. now uv started readin dis dunt stop this is so scary. send this over to 5 people in 143 minutes when ur done press f6 and ur crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. this is so scary because it actually work
33 comments total
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Dane Cook
ISolated INcident the DVD is out & on sale 2day! Grab it @ stores or dwnload it off iTunes here:
http://bit.ly/4tVcd
Posted at 11:04 PM Nov 17 from
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And Den!?
Posted at 8:58 PM Nov 18
Posted 26 seconds ago dont read this. you will get kissed on the nearest possible friday by the love of your life. tomorrow will be the best day of your life. however if you dont post this comment to at least 3 peoples you will die within 2 days. now uv started readin dis dunt stop this is so scary. send this over to 5 people in 143 minutes when ur done press f6 and ur crushes name will appear on the screen in big letters. this is so scary because it actually work
-ROGUE MERCENARY-
Posted at 5:00 PM Nov 18
Lol Cant wait to watch it bro.
167 comments total
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Dane Cook
I learned this morning that Kevin Knox died. If you are asking yourself who Kevin Knox is then you really missed ou (cont)
http://tl.gd/vbu7
Posted at 8:11 AM Nov 17 from
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Terror Tay!
Posted at 8:10 AM Nov 20
sorry for your loss. I hope you all know suicide silence is a death metal band btw.
Aileen
Posted at 5:16 AM Nov 19
Here's to a hilarious man. RIP Kevin Knox and thanks for all the laughs!
215 comments total
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Dane Cook
MW2 on my 150" HD projector w/ 15 speakers hidden around my new theater room. I think I have an advantage.
http://twitpic.com/p9heg
Posted at 8:42 PM Nov 12 from
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Justin Towne d[-_-]b
Posted at 11:07 AM Nov 21
Actually the perferred size for competitive gaming is roughly around 22 inches. You have no advantage.
Aileen
Posted at 5:20 AM Nov 19
HOT DAMN! I'm jealous! Can I please come over and play?
3 comments total
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Dane Cook
Texas, Arkansas, Illinois & Kentucky I'm per4ming 4 u this week. The ISolated INcident tour rages on! TICKETS:
http://lnk.ms/4QG9T
Posted at 5:04 AM Nov 12
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carl
Posted at 7:39 AM Nov 17
you fucking rock dude! stand up comedy is hard, but you make it look so easy!
Posted at 7:15 AM Nov 17
Chicago by chance?
374 comments total
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Dane Cook
Feeling better now. Got a lot off my mind with some new friends. I'm a lucky guy. Thanks for your well wishes!
Posted at 2:56 AM Nov 11 from
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Last Of My Kind
Posted at 2:18 AM Nov 18
See this is how you should update.....you are a lucky guy.
Carli Mae
Posted at 5:10 AM Nov 12
someone needs to learn how to spell......
273 comments total
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Dane Cook
http://lnk.ms/4NDFK
- Update b4 I fly away!
Posted at 4:17 AM Nov 9 from
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Geena Marie
Posted at 3:40 AM Nov 17
EVERYONE WHOSE DISSIN ME PLEASE SHUT UR FUCKING FACE!!! I'm just MAKING A FUCKIN STATEMENT UR ASSHOLES!!! God...go bug the hell outta someone else
*Dr. Dick 23 *
Posted at 7:00 AM Nov 12
the new call of dutty is the shit dude forxbox 360 i have a friend that can rapp come back to alaska
175 comments total
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Dane Cook
Hitting stage in 8 minutes here in Raleigh, North Carolina. I'm in rare form. After party u ask? It's onstage during the show.
Posted at 1:28 AM Nov 9 from
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*Dr. Dick 23 *
Posted at 7:02 AM Nov 12
u r the god of the funny fuckers
♫~COLETTE~♫
Posted at 11:16 PM Nov 9
Enjoyed the show Dane! You're a real charmer!
177 comments total
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Dane Cook
Congrats to the New England Patriots. Good win today. Moss is a machine. Brady is the oil. I'm a comedian.
Posted at 1:25 AM Nov 9 from
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Jamie ♥
Posted at 7:00 AM Nov 10
Go Pats!
Carlos
Posted at 11:09 PM Nov 9
sorry dude ima dolfan
68 comments total
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Dane Cook
It's the 1st day of the rest of your life.
http://bit.ly/1m4A1f
Posted at 12:00 AM Nov 9 from
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Xhex So Wicked
Posted at 9:07 PM Nov 9
so do somethin' righteous with it!
~**Brianna**~
Posted at 5:04 PM Nov 9
Nice quote!
95 comments total
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Dane Cook
At Hooters in Raleigh. Have not been here in years. Wings and tits. Yum!
Posted at 5:31 AM Nov 8 from
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Jessica
Posted at 9:11 PM Nov 10
They have WiFi ya know.... LOL
Robin
Posted at 4:24 AM Nov 10
haha
509 comments total
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Dane Cook
I want to thank all the fans that showed up tonight and last night in Virginia. You really put me in a great mood. I needed this show!
Posted at 3:19 AM Nov 8 from
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STRUBLE aka *mS.sTaYz*
Posted at 3:32 PM Nov 10
I wanted to go :( I had to work!
*~Nicole~*
Posted at 5:11 AM Nov 9
no problem. any time! u were FANTACULAR last night (norfolk,va) it was my first comedy show ever...and definitely will be the best!
110 comments total
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Dane Cook
=)
http://bit.ly/YXy8c
Posted at 12:48 AM Nov 8 from
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Last Of My Kind
Posted at 2:22 AM Nov 18
Good luck chuck has been on alot lately.....it's funny movie....but I kinda think it was a ploy for you to fuck all these chicks haha.
Tiffany Marie
Posted at 12:39 AM Nov 9
Why do assholes leave comments? If u wanna be a dick to Dane, why is he one of your friends? Go fuck off, haters.
61 comments total
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Dane Cook
Fairfax/Norfolk-email a HOT/COOL pic w/ur tix direct2dane@danecook.com get PULLED bckstge! I'm checking them until/after show.
Posted at 11:45 PM Nov 6 from
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Matt
Posted at 12:48 AM Nov 8
dane dane dane dane dane dane dane you are fucking awesome
ANASTASIA BEAVERHOUSEN
Posted at 10:06 PM Nov 7
YOU WERE AMAZING ON STERN THE OTHER DAY! 4 OF MY FAVORITE MEN IN THE WORLD, TOGETHER ALL IN ONE ROOM DOING ONE SHOW. YOU,ARTIE, HOWARD AND FRED! PERFECTION!
109 comments total
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Dane Cook
Just landed in Virginia. Thank you to all the fans waiting!
Posted at 9:39 PM Nov 6 from
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Ashley
Posted at 5:40 PM Nov 7
Take this IQ test!
http://lnk.ms/2wxNL
Kimmie Kinney
Posted at 3:25 PM Nov 7
Dane I get to see you 2moro in Raleigh *heart bubbles*
155 comments total
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Dane Cook
I'm on the news. Talking tour plus catch a glimpse of some of my next album. Just a taste.
http://bit.ly/1lc2KH
Posted at 12:52 AM Nov 5 from
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amy
Posted at 9:30 PM Nov 6
to the people who make the nasty comments on here i hope you realise it just makes you look like a total wank.
Jerrie
Posted at 6:56 PM Nov 6
Hey! Dane just stopn by to say Hi! :)
121 comments total
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Dane Cook
Have a hearty laugh w/ me & SPIN magazine. 10 THINGS NOT TO DO AT A CONCERT.
http://bit.ly/1SRjiV
Posted at 11:51 PM Nov 4 from
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Jo-E
Posted at 1:25 AM Nov 16
hey you're so awesome. the other day I was having a rough time dealing with things and I watched good lick chuck and it made me feel so much better. send me a comment!!!!!!
Rachel
Posted at 8:42 PM Nov 6
GREAT. WHEN'S THE MAG COMING OUT?
63 comments total
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Dane Cook
I just made my debut appearance on Howard Stern. Awesome time. He's a great guy. Can't wait to swing through again!
Posted at 2:44 PM Nov 4 from
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open
Posted at 3:05 PM Nov 5
You f*ckin rock.. You Made my Exgirl come back to me after I braught her to your show live..! THANK U :)
Grace
Posted at 2:37 AM Nov 5
Let me get you in a new shiny website.. Web sales are up 70% this year. Dont throw away your business over something so simple! Call me today!
136 comments total
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Dane Cook
Wednesday Nov 4th I'm in studio w/ Stern. After that all over NYC including Alexa Chung. The 5th-MSG is about to rumble w/ laughter.
Posted at 1:00 AM Nov 3 from
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Ryan
Posted at 8:47 PM Nov 4
I just shit my pants!!! ha ha just watched DC on Alex chung
~*u just think u know me*~
Posted at 2:56 PM Nov 4
Only 91 comments? (im being nice and includin mine n that total) this has to be ur lamest status ever. ;) so when u headin to okc or dallas? Mwah
92 comments total
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Dane Cook
Anytime u get mention w/ Weezer (1 of my favs since BLUE) from the Stone that is Rolling thats smile territory.
http://bit.ly/CtrFP
Posted at 11:37 PM Nov 2 from
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♥Em~ily♥
Posted at 2:49 AM Nov 9
omg u listen to weezer?!! IT'S MY FAVORITE BAND EVER!! say it ain't so! and the sweater song are amazing! I love their new album!
¿tikki god™
Posted at 10:31 AM Nov 3
Say it ain't so.......Rolling back to the good old days........
74 comments total
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Dane Cook
You've never seen me in an interview like this one.
http://lnk.ms/2sVHr
Posted at 8:49 PM Nov 1
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Ka~B
Posted at 11:32 PM Nov 2
funny + hot ass = Sexy Dane :) <3
Kayla ♥
Posted at 6:41 PM Nov 2
love ur ass
153 comments total
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Dane Cook
You've never seen me in an interview like this one.
http://bit.ly/1OJDYt
Posted at 8:46 PM Nov 1 from
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Kelsey Ann
Posted at 7:49 AM Nov 2
lol hilarious
jacob
Posted at 3:08 AM Nov 2
sausage McMuffin
9 comments total
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Dane Cook
Oh shit it's Halloween. And here I thought everyone was just a bunch of overdressed assholes.
Posted at 7:09 AM Nov 1 from
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*@Mike Reaves@*
Posted at 2:21 AM Nov 5
HAHAHAHAHA LMFAO
Jaime Lynn
Posted at 3:07 PM Nov 2
Oh your to much..
375 comments total
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Dane Cook
Time for my weekly NOBODY TWEETS ON AN F'IN SATURDAY tweet. Unaired interview clip from my EXTRA interview.
http://bit.ly/123djY
Posted at 6:48 PM Oct 31 from
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Inez
Posted at 10:28 AM Nov 1
add me
Brian
Posted at 9:10 AM Nov 1
Quit twattin' your tweets, that's what old people do
117 comments total
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Dane Cook
I just heard distant police sirens & thought to myself great what did I do now. Good way to start the day.
Posted at 2:23 PM Oct 27
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Brandy
Posted at 12:36 AM Nov 2
i thought they were coming for me..
DMF <33 JRS 10-5-07
Posted at 2:03 PM Oct 31
fuck shoes
655 comments total
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Dane Cook
If I retweet a tweet that has not been posted yet is that a pretweet?
Posted at 2:54 AM Oct 20 from
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Dane Cook
http://lnk.ms/2J6v6
- The first 4 shows of the IS-IN tour have been nothing short of spectacular...
Posted at 9:53 PM Oct 19 from
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TAM~TAM
Posted at 4:49 AM Oct 27
You should be a guest host on WWE Raw. I think it would be hilarious to see what you'd say to some of those guys.
mark F.u.B.
Posted at 1:39 AM Oct 27
Your hilarious pls don't stop doing comedy
258 comments total
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Dane Cook
http://lnk.ms/2Bx4J
- Just landed in Wisconsin.
Posted at 6:28 AM Oct 18 from
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devonnn.ツ
Posted at 11:50 PM Oct 24
cute ass girls add me, (:
5P -Smash off da Bo-Bo-Wiggy KIF!
Posted at 4:04 AM Oct 21
http://lnk.ms/2BLQ6
406 comments total
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Dane Cook
http://lnk.ms/3cgmM
- Update from the road on the ISolated INcident Tour.
Posted at 3:06 AM Oct 18 from
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devonnn.ツ
Posted at 11:51 PM Oct 24
cute ass girls add me, (:
5P -Smash off da Bo-Bo-Wiggy KIF!
Posted at 4:05 AM Oct 21
http://lnk.ms/2BLQ6
137 comments total
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Dane Cook
In Nashville, TN. Making this hotel my hometel until tomorrow night.
Posted at 6:14 AM Oct 17
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Whitney
Posted at 2:54 PM Oct 27
Your Nashville show was great! Had a blast!
devonnn.ツ
Posted at 11:51 PM Oct 24
cute ass girls add me, (:
458 comments total
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Dane Cook
In my hotel room here in Columbus, Ohio. Resting 4 the show. Thinking funny things to say in funny ways.
Posted at 5:24 PM Oct 15
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Megs
Posted at 3:54 AM Oct 20
Wow. People write the weirdest comments. Anywho. Last month my brother and I went to Costa Rica (wicked time). You helped us get through some rough roads. We laughed so hard we had tears. Some great memories with my brother were because of you. Thanks for making us laugh. :)
~BrAnDiE~
Posted at 6:07 AM Oct 17
U make me horny :P........I love watchin u....ur GORGEOUS!!!! Do u ever get tired of all of us throwin ourselves at u....prob not....sooooo HOT!!!! I LOVE U!!!
879 comments total
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Dane Cook
It's raining so hard here in Los Angeles. Great night to fall in love & kiss out in it while dancing 2 the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.
Posted at 1:59 AM Oct 14 from
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Poeticleyncrrect
Posted at 10:27 PM Nov 17
A girls wet dream funny boy... You described my dream date.
Damsel N Distress
Posted at 3:27 PM Oct 27
that would be funny as hell to see lol u remind me of my friend brandon kinda look like him too hes a pisces also.
1280 comments total
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Dane Cook
Driving me crazy. What was the name of the weird vehicle that sprays foam all over every1 in Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory?
Posted at 8:34 PM Oct 13 from
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♥Nellie Kitty♥*RAWR*
Posted at 9:08 PM Oct 14
wonka wash backwards
Lil boo
Posted at 7:45 PM Oct 14
MY FAVE Movie!!!yay i see you already have your answer so i'll just tell you that I love that movie
725 comments total
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Dane Cook
Go to a SEARCH ENGINE. Type 3 random words. 1st: a SOUND; 2nd: a nearby OBJECT 3rd: an ACTION. Search. WTF comes up?
Posted at 2:46 AM Oct 13 from
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Andrea
Posted at 7:32 PM Oct 15
i tried it out and i put in: ding, bottle, and jump and i got this really crazy video of some strange ppl here's the site u might find it interesting.
http://lnk.ms/21dYB
•.mεℓℓs™.•
Posted at 5:41 PM Oct 15
i put sharpener, dog, then seatbelt. i got "High Visibility MEDIUM Orange Vest Safety Dog Harness " lmao wth?!
749 comments total
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Dane Cook
Heyou email a HOT/COOL pic w/ur tix direct2dane@danecook.com get PULLED bckstge! I'm checking them personally so don't be lame.
Posted at 1:47 AM Oct 13 from
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Dances with Zombies!
Posted at 11:59 PM Oct 16
WHORES!!!!!
CrysTAL :)
Posted at 8:43 PM Oct 16
So how can I send a cool picture with tickets if you never come close to where I live Dane? haha....love ya anyway!
142 comments total
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Dane Cook
Las Vegas. Great start 4 my tour. OH, MI, TN, WI I will see you next week.
http://bit.ly/3qge5c
for tix!
Posted at 2:47 AM Oct 12 from
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Lisa
Posted at 4:03 AM Oct 15
Tehachapi, California...great little town with so many that would LOVE to see you!!!
.:.♥.:.MrS. EaRLy.:.♥.:.
Posted at 8:33 AM Oct 14
u should come to ky. nothin exciting ever happens here:)
300 comments total
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Dane Cook
My gurl MC-yrus threw me mad like in a rap b4 jetting from Twitterland. I'm workin on my shoutout while on tour.
http://bit.ly/KTze
Posted at 10:35 PM Oct 10 from
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†IvanDaGreat†™
Posted at 2:48 AM Oct 12
fk yea
DJ Stomp
Posted at 2:30 AM Oct 12
Dane, we're all cheering you on!!!! You can beat E-TORETTES SYNDROME!
233 comments total
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Dane Cook
“@danecook thats sweet-- callin the boston garden "The Garden" on your schedule” -@celtic52034 That's what it is!
Posted at 10:29 PM Oct 9 from
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Jared (AKA J-Rad)
Posted at 10:33 PM Oct 10
Go Celtics! (& Red Sox!)
Lost Kauzz
Posted at 9:38 PM Oct 10
I heard Tom Brady Gets his balls washed by Billy Belichick. The only thing brady gets in febuary is an STD. Why couldnt they beat the giants in their last appearance, fuck the pats, I hope their plane crashes.
174 comments total
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Dane Cook
Take meeting. Jog the canyon. Chicken salad. Call Miley get her back on Twitter. Car wash. Baseball game. Sleep. Vegas.
Posted at 6:34 PM Oct 8 from
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Shortie loves her EZE!
Posted at 10:25 AM Oct 11
Go on a poker run on the bike, come home, play with kiddies, make dinner, get dumby algebra, english comp, history, and psych homework done, get kids bathed and ready for school, try to avoid all them games on fagbook, get hubby ready for classes tomorrow, clean up dinner, bath myself, hopefully, then I might get some sleep...ugh ugh and total ugh! HEY MILEY...GET UR BUTT BACK ON TWITTER..hope that helps!
Aimee
Posted at 3:43 AM Oct 10
Busy day Dane!....Me; Find a way to work, whats for lunch, Is work ever going to end, go home, mop the floors the dogs shit all over, fix dinner, hang Halloween decorations, Facebook, Myspace, 2 motrins, Sleep! Thanks for aasking!!!
377 comments total
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Dane Cook
I'm always busy, planning, developing, updating, traveling. Tonight I'm going to do something I've never done before. Nothing.
Posted at 5:42 AM Oct 7 from
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Nice
Posted at 12:54 AM Oct 9
nice one!
~27~
Posted at 12:38 AM Oct 9
hafuckingha
625 comments total
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Christina Milian
,
Jordyn Taylor
.