status & mood

St. Michael
St. Michaellittered twice already today, I'm allergic to horses, and I need a Garmin to find my way across the streetPosted 16 hours ago
Mood: 13-0ish
St. Michaelonce removed a boil from his own thigh using a paper clip and a warm can of Sprite.
Mood:13 & 0-ish
Posted 19 hours ago
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St. Michaelisn't trying to take Megan Fox on a dangerous jungle adventure to recover a lost diamond, I just want to see how close I can get her ankles to her ears.
Mood:13-0ish
Posted at 7:03 PM Dec 15
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St. Michaelhas been having this recurring dream where I'm flying over Auckland on the back of a swan made primarily of cocoa. His name is Clem.
Mood:13-0ish
Posted at 8:20 PM Dec 14
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St. Michaeldoesn't need you and your misplaced prepositions.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 3:20 PM Dec 14
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St. Michaelthinks the Falcons can suck it!! 13-0 bitches!!!
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 2:02 PM Dec 13 from Mobile
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St. Michaelthinks Candice Swanepoel is too perfect to have sex with. I'm afraid if I bent her over the arm of the couch I might get my penis caught in a rainbow.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 2:45 AM Dec 12 from Mobile
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St. Michaelthinks Candice Swanepoel is too perfect to have sex with. I'm afraid if I bent her over the arm of the couch I might get my penis caught in a rainbow.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:11 PM Dec 11
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  • *Knuckles*
    *Knuckles* Posted at 8:13 PM Dec 11
    Not yet my friend but soon....i will be able to say i did and actually mean it!=)
1 comment total hide all show
St. Michaelcan only hope all that time I spent watching Wonder Woman was training Lynda Carter to give me handjobs.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:37 PM Dec 10
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St. Michaelknows the ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe and not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgment after several drinks.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 6:16 PM Dec 9
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St. Michaelisn't saying that if you toss it and leave it, I wouldn’t pull up quick to retrieve it.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 1:51 PM Dec 9
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St. Michaelis serious about bowling, quite serious. Matter of fact, LEGO wants to sponsor me this year. They also want me to wear shoes made out of LEGOs, so I'm torn.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 3:03 PM Dec 8
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St. Michaelthinks France isn’t really a country. It's more of an occupied territory of the week sort of deal.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 9:10 PM Dec 7
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St. Michaelcould be the one who would die to feel you breathe but it's too far-gone & this love must die.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:02 PM Dec 7
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St. Michaelwants to go in half on a baby with Megan Fox.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:36 PM Dec 5 from Mobile
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St. Michaeldoesn't think jumping from behind a car and forcing Megan Fox to inhale chloroform should be crime. I like to think of it as asking her out on a date.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 7:09 PM Dec 4
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St. Michaelcurses your sudden but inevitable betrayal.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 6:47 PM Dec 3
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St. Michaelis rolling down the street smoking endo, sipping on gin & juice.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 1:50 AM Dec 3 from Mobile
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St. Michaelpromises you that if I am ever living in an abandoned school bus I will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 9:50 PM Dec 2
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St. Michaelcould go all the way, or a significant part of the way.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 3:26 AM Dec 2 from Mobile
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St. Michaelis going to go into your room wearing nothing but my Indiana Jones hat and purple socks while singing Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 6:46 PM Dec 1
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St. Michaelwants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 3:50 PM Nov 30
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St. Michaelwants to be employed as personal gigolo to Scarlett Johansson.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 6:37 PM Nov 28
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St. Michaelsometimes forgets that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Mood:Turkeyish
Posted at 3:10 PM Nov 26
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St. Michaelwill do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a Sham-Wow.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 6:47 PM Nov 25
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St. Michaelwould arm wrestle Lincoln Hawk to the death for a chance to make french toast for Carrie Underwood after a night of bad decisions on her part.
Mood:Underwoodish
Posted at 5:44 PM Nov 24
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St. Michaelis going to come up with a way to genetically engineer sandwiches to be more delicious.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:29 PM Nov 24
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St. Michaelheard there were so many fat girls concentrated in so few spots for New Moon, the mass pulled the moon 10 miles closer to Earth.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 2:02 PM Nov 23
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St. Michaelsays bring on the Patriots.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 10:43 PM Nov 22 from Mobile
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St. Michaelis a Saint.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:56 PM Nov 22
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St. Michaelis up way too early.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 2:49 PM Nov 22
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St. Michaeldoesn't always drink beer but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends.
Mood:Saintsationa.
Posted at 7:55 PM Nov 21
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St. Michaelis all blue eyes and charm.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 5:42 AM Nov 21 from Mobile
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St. Michaelis 100% American. I went to a high school prom I like Springsteen songs, and I take rides in Chevrolets.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 7:46 PM Nov 20
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1 comment total hide all show
St. Michaelwonders how can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar, assuming their pants aren't on fire.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 1:50 PM Nov 20
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  • *Kristin*
    *Kristin* Posted at 3:08 PM Nov 20
    I know this! If you stick a hot iron to their tongue and it burns them.....I'm smart! I learned that in school....lol
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St. Michaelhasn't snuck into your place for weeks. Which reminds me, you're all out of peanut butter.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 4:29 PM Nov 19
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St. Michaelis going to buy a shotgun, shells, a children's swimming pool and enough tacos to fill it up.
Mood:Saintsational
Posted at 2:46 PM Nov 18
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St. Michaelwasn't the lead in "The Cosby Show", but I sometimes pretend that I was.
Mood:Saint-sational
Posted at 1:45 PM Nov 17
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St. Michaelthinks the Tampa Bay Buccaneer cheerleaders are all sorts of fine.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 6:46 PM Nov 16
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St. Michaellived in an airport for a month
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 3:33 PM Nov 16
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1 comment total hide all show
St. Michaelsmells like Pensacola strippers.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 9:57 AM Nov 15 from Mobile
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St. Michaelis ready to put dollar bills in girls' underwear.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 3:20 AM Nov 15 from Mobile
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St. Michaelwants to get so drunk that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, fight a lion, & send back some toast at Denny's.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 8:11 PM Nov 14
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St. Michaelwonders why people always say "goes without saying," yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 9:10 PM Nov 13
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  • *Knuckles*
    *Knuckles* Posted at 10:58 PM Nov 13
    kinda like when people say "it's always in the last place you look!" of course it is asshol why would you keep looking after you've already found what you were looking for???
1 comment total hide all show
St. Michaelhas that scene from Parenthood where Rick Moranis' character is singing Close To You to his wife in the classroom stuck in my head all day.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 8:29 PM Nov 13
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St. Michaelcan't erase it anymore, it follows me everywhere I go. It's like a mask that I don't want to wear anymore.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 1:42 PM Nov 13
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St. Michaelhas a pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 10:13 PM Nov 12
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St. Michaelknows how hard it is to feel like you're alone. We've all been given a second chance but the choice is all our own.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 1:47 PM Nov 12
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St. Michaelwants to "borrow" the Large Hadron Collider.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 12:22 AM Nov 12
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  • David
    David Posted at 2:23 AM Nov 12
    David likes this!
1 comment total hide all show
St. Michaelwas watching Iron Chef and got motivated, so I made dinosaur chicken nuggets.
Mood:SAINTsational
Posted at 7:36 PM Nov 11
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